Some many
of us want people around us to change their behaviours and attitudes in dealing
with us. Often times, we are frustrated by their worsening mannerisms and their
presence steals our own peace away. Well, maybe you can’t change anyone but you
can determine how people around you affect you inner peace.
The
foundation of a beneficial relationship is acceptance and that goes without you
pretending everyone is an angel. People are more likely to stay with you when
they realize their personalities are safe with you, without you pressured to
crush them at the slightest provocation from them. Most times when we admit
others into our circle, we do so in our own terms. The toughest field of
discrimination is right in our hearts. We write people off before we give them
chance to prove they are worthy of our trust and friendship. Ironically, the
way to improve yourself is to improve others. To improve others, you must deal
with them in the light of their uniqueness.
Not even you
want to change before being admitted into other people’s circles. So, why make
such demand on others. Jesus illustrated this lesson vividly with The Good
Samaritan parable. Through his ministry, we find all sorts of people in his
circle. Remember, the sinful Peter, the
Gentile Woman, the Roman Captain, the Samaritan Woman, Zaccheus the extortioner,
the sanctimonious Nichodemus, and Geneserenean
Mad Man, the list goes on and on. He
admitted all of these people into his circle without making any demand on them.
- Opening the room for other people’s peculiarities paves a
way for us to add various colours to ours and that takes care of boredom
largely.
- Admitting people into our spheres, focusing on their
peculiarities, switches on the knowledge portal to us. This is the route
to an increasing quality of life.
- Acclimatizing to other people’s environment makes you less
of a conflict-person and more of a peace-person.
Having
considered the points here, they are not suggesting that keeping personal
principles in relationship is undesirable, as a matter of fact it advocates it;
however, there is a great need to learn the value of opening up your world for
people to learn from it and vice versa.
The fact is people are like climatic
conditions, you don’t expect weathers to change for you, and you acclimatize to
them. Otherwise, you would be denying yourself a well of peace.
REFLECTION POINT:
Relationship is underlined by an
inside-out approach. Do not put personality ahead of character. It is less
practical to want to improve other before improving ourselves.
TASK:
Think about one person you have
closed the door of friendship to and reopen it. Think about what you need to do
differently to make the fellow fit into your world.
Quote of the Week:
To
help people improve, you must see them in the light of their own uniqueness.
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